So Wrong
I think one of the greatest things in life is not the times I've been write, but the overwhelming majority of the time that I've been wrong. I can't think of any sweeter medicine than realizing “wow, I was SO wrong” so many times. And that medicine is certain to have effect.
Really, by simply making that statement you're undoing it. But, like salvation, blazing the trail of brokenness takes more than just confession. The bush is heavy there, and the work is tough. Self-seeking is one of those things that is so innate in us that its roots are often deeper than we've ever looked before. Yet this too holds its own reward. You rarely learn so much about yourself as when you prayerfully delve into the depths of your own soul. There, where bone and marrow merge inconspicuously, God brings His light. And with the light of His presence, the scalpel of His word can be wielded. It's time for surgery.
The blade begins to slice through death and decay. Bone and marrow find their meeting place, and all the empty holes and infectious abscesses are revealed. It's amazing how much you never knew had found its way into your very identity. Your character was being altered without any consciousness on your part. You thought you were perfectly healthy. It turns out that was only because you had no idea what health really feels like.
I once had a friend who had mononucleosis for weeks without knowing it. They thought the way they were feeling was perfectly fine; they'd been sick for so long that they thought it was the norm. It wasn't until the sickness was finally alleviated that they learned how life was meant to feel.
In the same way, we all live in shadows. At worst, we are the characters of Plato's philosophy, chained to a pole in a cave, seeing only shadows of images of life. How painful it is to be drug into the sun! But what liberation can be found there! At best, we have been rescued from darkness, and are walking in His marvelous light. With myopia. And the less you think your vision is off, the more terribly you need eye surgery.
I'm stumbling through my bright new world with a pair of lenses that are probably built for someone who's in need of just the slightest aid in their vision, when images are far and small—and I'm legally blind.
So how wrong do you find yourself? How short-sighted are you? Maybe it's time for a checkup.
It's Getting Better...
The crazy thing is, your err might be in the very light of truth; you may well be drawing your conclusions from the truth of the new life in Christ you have been born into. The problem is that you have no idea how bad your eyes are. You've been living in a cave all your life, and your eyes have gone bad. And if a man's eyes are bad, his whole body is full of darkness—and how great is that darkness!
This is why, each time you read the same passage of scripture, you can find something different—something deeper and novel. It's because you've gotten a new pair of glasses since then, and taken another dose of medicine. The light is going deeper, the blade is cutting further. And as your wrongs are revealed and your health returns, you see better and still better. And life feels better and still better.
In this manner, we come to maturity in faith—a maturity that condemns our immaturity. You see, now that we can see more clearly the beauty around us, we can also see our stark contrast with it. And so, day by day, we recognize further our desperate need of God and His detergent to wash us clean. It only comes in one scent—and at first, it's never pleasant. It only comes in one color—and at first, everything looks red. But the aroma that soon fills our nostrils, and the purity that follows the cleansing, is more wondrous than anything we've ever known. Each time, we receive a deeper clean than we've ever experienced, so it never loses its excitement or novelty.
But despite the incredible new purity we receive, the very cleansing sharpens our sight, and so we see all the more our depravity. We are desperate for God and His love to cover us. So you see, the closer you draw to God, the more you recognize your desperate state, the incredible extent of your wrongness, and your total need of eye surgery.
There's something that you need to understand; all this time, we've been thinking, as far as the eyes go, that we've only got problems with short-sightedness and blurred vision (there's a whole lot of gray in our lives [that's something for another time])—just a pair of glasses can correct that! But the truth is, there's something far more grave than that going on; we've got cataracts.
The scales on our eyes threaten all hope of vision, and just living life here on earth tends to make them grow. But Jesus is the Great Physician, and time with Him makes those scales flake off, bit by bit. And when the log in our eyes begins to be chipped away, we can see clearly the reality of the speck in our neighbor's eye; it's true nature, it's true size in the grand scheme, and it's true relevance. And to think, we wanted to try to perform surgery for that! Us, with no medical license, extreme myopia, and cataracts. What a disaster that would have been! How blind we could have made them. It's a good thing no one in Christian churches tries to take out the flaws they see in others...
But as we begin to get a clearer perspective—on us, the Truth, and others—we can begin to point others to the Physician's tender care. We all need Him (although telling someone that can be the exact wrong thing to say, ladies and gentlemen), and a simple introduction is all that is necessary. In the light of His glory, they'll see their need. In the light of your glory, they'll see your need. Luckily, Jesus offers to shine through you while He's making you like Him.
The most wicked heart is mine
When drawn so close to thine
My blinded eyes have light enough to see
The chief of sinners, dining there with thee
What health, what joy, what all-surpassing peace
Is mine to find when humbled at your feet
~While we were still sinners, He endured the shame; how can I ever be ashamed?
-Colton J. Stollenmaier, M.I.A.
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